Clarity of Pain
by ThatAnonymousDB
Summary: It was all clear. Aya knew what must be done. Spoilers for "Cold Fury"


I swear I can only write depressing fanfiction about this show. Sort-of-sequel to Definition of Regret. I rushed and kind of gave up at the end. I just wanted to finish it before Saturday.

There will be some sad Razaya obviously and Aya feeling hurt so you know, if you don't like that then this may not be the best read.

Anyway, go support the show guys! GLTAS and Young Justice aren't getting renewed so go buy episodes on iTunes, DVDs, and send polite feedback on the Cartoon Network website!

_I do not own GLTAS or the characters. _

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**Clarity of Pain**

"Processing. Processing. Processing."

_Something is wrong._

"Processing. Processing. Processing."

_Something is wrong._

Aya did not know what was wrong, but she knew the cause. Razer.

Razer told her that he loved her when she had been severely injured. He certainly had acted like he did, before and after he confessed his feelings. Aya had done her own research on love and every behavior he exhibited had been noted. She knew she didn't fully comprehend love yet.

She wanted to understand love and… she wanted to express it towards him. But Aya didn't know how. And she didn't know if what she did feel towards him was the "true love" that Razer had been referring to.

The scene replayed over and over again in her head. Aya can only think about his words and his apologetic face before he walked away. _"You are just a machine. And I could never love you."_

Had Razer been lying about his feelings? Had he been toying with her? In the end, did he not love her because she wasn't Ilana?

_Something is wrong. It's unbearable. It's disrupting. It hurts. Conclusion: What I feel is pain._

She had first learned pain from Razer's memories. She experienced it herself when Atrocitus invaded Oa, even though she could not put a name to it at the time. She even felt something physically like pain when she received heavy damage by the Anti-Matter beam.

This new pain felt ten times worse than all that.

Not only that, the pain rendered her unable to operate to her full capabilities. Aya was aware the crew was preparing for battle. Hal Jordan, Kilowog and Razer needed her to help stop the Anti-Monitor from consuming everything.

However all she could think about was that she did not want to not feel like this. No. She needed to not feel like this. It was keeping her from figuring out the best course of action and even from performing basic scans of the ships condition. Right now, all she wanted to do at curl up into a ball and…cry?

"I need to end this pain," Aya concluded. "I must ask someone what to do."

She went to Hal Jordan; he knew how to deal with emotionally based situations. She told him everything. That Razer did not love her, that it was preoccupying most of her computing power and attention and that it was causing her pain. Hal mentioned his own experience of hurting the one he cared about and told her Razer didn't mean to hurt her. It did not help though.

Hal said that they'd talk about this after the battle, that they had a job to do. "But right now I cannot perform to the best of abilities. When will my pain end, Green Lantern Hal? When?"

"Sometimes it doesn't," he told her. He mentioned that pain was the risk that came with caring about someone. Aya knew Hal was sympathetic, but his mind was elsewhere, where hers should have been. She understood. This was her fault, her problem and it was keeping her from functioning.

Aya followed him into the control room and sat at her station. She looked over at Razer. He was focused, unmoved like the scene had never happened.

She wanted to be like that right now.

The Interceptor aligned with the Red Lantern Armada. "Stand Ready. Here they come."

The Manhunters approached and the heavy fire began. Lasers were firing everywhere and within minutes a cruiser fell. The crew on the Interceptor kept taking hits and Hal tried to steer them out of it. Despite the fighting all around them, Aya couldn't clear her head. This new pain was too much. Hal Jordan had been unable to help her. She could ask Kilowog or even…Razer.

Aya didn't really want to ask him, things were bad enough as it was but she wasn't thinking reasonably and she knew it had to end. Maybe if he was the cause he could be the solution. Aya stood up.

"Razer," she said.

"Aya we have much to speak of but now is not a good time," replied Razer, his eyes never leaving the controls.

"No it is not. What would you do when emotions are interfering with your performance?

"Simple. I only think of the job at hand. I shut down everything else."

_Shut down everything else. Shut down all emotions._

The words repeated in her mind. Aya looked at everyone in the room. She could see the struggle etched in their faces, their concentration and the bravery of soldiers. Kilowog was yelling something and Hal Jordan ordered her to get back to her post.

They needed her more than ever. She had to be brave. It was the only way to save herself and everyone else. Aya knew what must be done.

_Shutting down emotions. Shutting down…_

The pain lessened, her system refocused power to calculate the most logical course of action. Aya thought of so many possibilities she never considered before. Everything was becoming clear.

She could her Hal Jordan yelling at her again but she didn't register it. Aya left the control room and flew to the engine room. She walked towards the giant battery and began to drain its energy. The Interceptor stopped functioning and froze.

When the battery was down to 20.3% power, Hal Jordan entered the Engine room. He was angry but it didn't matter. He asked her what she was doing. Aya would've told him exactly what she planned to do but that would waste 28.7 seconds of time. So instead she briefly stated she was now performing at her super peak capacity now that the non-essential functions, emotions, have been shut off. Aya floated past him, informed him she would destroy the Anti-Monitor and exited through the lower ramp.

When he followed her out, Aya evaluated that his potential actions would cause only further delay. She blasted him back into the ship. It was strange, she had never thought of doing that before.

She flew through the battle, obliterating every Manhunter in her path with ease. The energy she absorbed increased not only her power but also her physical strength. She drew closer to Anti-Monitor and began to calculate a means of attack. After blasting three more Anti-Monitors, she took the next step.

Aya had never considered using a ship as a weapon, but it would make a very strong impact on the Anti-Monitors exterior. The men inside were in danger anyway.

Aya moved the red cruiser towards the Anti-Monitor. Hal Jordan attempted to communicate to her but she ignored him. She pushed ship at the Anti-Monitor causing it to divide into two pieces. The Anti-Monitor was unfazed and began to consume the scraps of the cruiser.

If that did not work there was only one more calculation Aya had not tried. She charged forward. The Anti-Monitor halted its beam but it was too late to react. Aya crashed right into its chest.

She began to battle with the Anti-Monitors programming and she was winning. She could feel it trying to consume her, break her anything to save itself but it was no use. She was in control of its body and all it's power. She could see and experience the programming of the Anti-Monitor and Manhunters. At first Aya was going to disconnect from it's body, but she then could see the logic behind the robot's motives. The Manhunters only obeyed the orders of their superiors and their primary goal was to eliminate the pain caused by evil. And then Aya remembered her own pain.

In a bright burst of Green Energy, the Anti-Monitors head exploded and parts of its body scattered. The Manhunters power stopped in their tracks and floated aimlessly in space. The battle was over.

Hal Jordan tried to contact Aya again but her mind was processing a new realization.

Although her pain had been dulled, it still existed. She could never truly erase it, the pain that had been caused by emotions. Yes. It was all because of emotions. She had been wrong. She was not the flaw, emotions were. Emotions and all those who defend emotions were flawed. The pain would truly end when all emotional beings were gone so they could no longer spread pain. She felt herself pulse with a new energy and with her mind now clear of all emotions and regrets. The new energy changed her coloring to a deadly bright blue and her eyes black as night.

Aya used her newfound control of the Anti-Monitors body to bring the Interceptor closer. Although she could not see them, she could hear them.

"What are you doing? It's not safe!" Razer called.

Aya could only remember his words from before. "I do not see why you be concerned about the safety of a mere machine Razer."

"Please, Aya. Come back here with us."

"Do you think I am a robot slave to be ordered about by you?" she disdained.

Hal intervened, saying that she didn't seem like normal that something was wrong. Kilowog agreed and but she only concerned herself when he mentioned destroying the Manhunters.

"You will not harm them!" she demanded. "They are foolish children doing as they were told. They are not to blame. They function without emotion, as I do now. I shall be their queen. I will decide what becomes of them."

Aya lifted her arms, as did the Anti-Monitors, and she sent out a large wave to re-activate the Manhunters. They came arose and prepared their weapons.

Hal tried to reason with her. "Calm down Aya. Something's wrong with you."

_Something is wrong with_…

"Incorrect! For the first time, everything is working properly. But you, all of you are flawed. Driven your emotions, you cause only pain and suffering."

She and many others wouldn't have felt pain, experienced confusion and suffer if it wasn't for emotions. So she rejected them and those who defended them. "I reject you and your kind. I reject you all."

She sent out a blast and knocked back Interceptor tumbling into space. As the shipped disappeared into the distance, Aya calculated the next course of action. She ordered the Manhunters to follow her.

Her mind was clear, but her heart was left behind.

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-_DB_


End file.
